I have a confession to make

I have a confession to make. It’s a deep, dark secret that I’ve been hiding for a while now. About 5 and a half months, to be exact. It’s just that…I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. But every where I turn, in all the magazines, the blog posts that go viral, the memes, every where I look, I’m confronted with the fact that what I’m doing is Very. Bad. Parenting.

But I feel like this is a safe place to share my secret. So, here goes…

*deep breath*

Sometimes, when I look at my daughter, I think “My goodness, you’re pretty. How are you so pretty?” And then, here’s where it gets worse, I say that to her.

She overwhelms with me her beauty. Her round, bright blue eyes with the circles of grey around the pupils. Her long, dark eyelashes. Her soft pink lips. Her wispy strawberry blonde hair. And I can’t hold it in. The words “You’re so pretty!” escape my mouth before I can stop myself.

DSCF0655I know, I know. We’re meant to be all about raising girls to think they’re strong, brave, clever, kind. We’re not meant to focus on appearance. We’re meant to band together to pave a make up-free, self esteem-filled world for our daughters.

But the thing is, well, she’s a very pretty baby. I’m not going to omit that from our conversations in an effort to make her something else.  She could grow up to be strong, brave, clever, kind and pretty.

In fact, I think she will.

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2 thoughts on “I have a confession to make

  1. I think you are totally right. I do the same with my daughter. Have you ever read the book “Captivating”? It’s all about how females innately have a need to feel pretty. I think the author is right. No amount of political correctness is going to change something that is built into a woman. It might bury it, but it will still be there. Girls have a need to feel pretty. Now that certainly shouldn’t be all they are appreciated for, but there is nothing wrong with appreciating a woman’s (or girl’s) beauty. We appreciate beauty in so many other things. I too constantly tell my daughter she is pretty, has a beautiful smile, I love the way her eyes light up, etc. But I also tell my daughter how much I appreciate her helpfulness, how she is special and precious because she is mine, how I admire her dedication and hard work at learning new things, etc. I think it is a matter of balance. Swinging all the way to the opposite side of “pretty” is just going to cause different problems in my opinion.

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