My child’s inner voice (19 weeks)

Every Saturday morning is like Christmas. I wake up and automatically remember I’m another week further along. I feel such joy that Baby and I have made it another week.

Baby is now just under triple the size he or she was at my 12 week scan. That is crazy. 7 weeks ago we were incredulous over how big our little baby had gotten, and how he or she is bigger. And even more crazy, is that he or she is going to get even bigger still.

I’m finally starting to look pregnant, although I still feel like it’s mostly fat. People have started commenting on it, so I think maybe I’m confident enough to share some photos on here, once I get around to getting them taken. I can feel my uterus, and even cooler, my husband can now feel it without me needing it find it first. I think that Baby is sitting quite low in my uterus, and he or she spends a lot of time on my right side.

Confession time: I sing to my baby when I’m alone. Mostly I sing this song:

If you’re black, or if you’re white,
or if you’re in between
God loves you

If you’re short, or if you’re tall,
or if you’re kind or mean,
God loves you

He loves you when you’re happy
He loves you when you’re sad
He loves you when you’re very good
And when you’re very bad

No matter what you look like
No matter what you do
God loves you

I often find myself feeling sad for my little baby, that he or she may one day not know how loved and special he or she is. I pray constantly that my baby would have the power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and that he or she would be convinced that nothing will ever separate him or her from the love of God. I plan to tell my child this, too. That’s why I sing that song. From the very beginning, I want my baby to know that he or she is loved by the creator of the universe.

I heard a quote the other day that both inspired and challenged me:

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice”

Truthfully, being a parent does not seem challenging to me because of lack of sleep, dirty nappies, sick babies, painful labour. Those things will be hard, I’m sure. But they don’t compare to the responsibility of raising a child to be an adult. Whether or not I breastfed will not matter compared to whether or not I loved my child. The quality of my parenting will have a major influence on whether or not my adult child, in a time of trial, will thrive or fail.

Ten or twenty or thirty years from now, I want my little baby all grown up to say “I’ll call Dad, he’ll know what to do,” or “I need to go and see Mum, she’ll understand how I feel.” I want us to be those parents.

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3 thoughts on “My child’s inner voice (19 weeks)

  1. COurtney~ I reckon you will be those types of parents. Already you are displaying such a protective and deep love for your baby. I surely can not wait to watch you guys raise this child. It is always such a privelege to see good parents these days :)

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