Frequently Asked Question # 2: Are you finding out what the gender is, and do you have a preference?

This is the second in a series of questions that I’m frequently asked about my pregnancy. You can find the first question here.

The second most common question I get asked, is:

Are you finding out what the gender is, and do you have a preference?

Actually, to be specific, people who don’t have children have asked since they first found out “Do you know if it’s a girl or a boy?” So, to answer that, no, I don’t know. In New Zealand, the anatomy scan (which is when they can tell you) is at 20 weeks. The 12 week scan is far too early to tell. So the very earliest I could know is the first week of October.

We aren’t finding out. My husband is adamant that he doesn’t want to find out. I may have if he wanted to, but it’s just not as fun knowing if he doesn’t know too.

I don’t mind what gender our baby is. Hopefully he or she won’t be our only child, so we’ll have more chances to have a baby of the other gender. If we have two or three of one gender, I might have a preference, but for now, either way is good as. I do have an inkling about what it is, but whenever I catch myself thinking of my baby as that gender, I feel guilty. I don’t want to be disappointed if it turns out to be the other gender, so I’m trying to think of Baby as gender-neutral for now.

If I have a little boy…

  • He might be exactly like a tiny version of my husband, which would be so cute I would have to stop myself from eating him
  • He will be the big brother to all my other children
  • His daddy will walk around with his chest puffed out for days after the birth
  • His brain will be wired for activity and noise
  • He will explore, discover, battle and love
  • I will get to discover a whole new world of books for boys
  • They say boys love their mummies in a special way

If I have a little girl…

  • She will be Daddy’s little girl
  • I can start the ballet brainwashing straight away, by buying her baby-sized tutus
  • Her daddy won’t know what has hit him
  • Her brain will be wired for relationships and connection
  • I can do her hair and buy her the cutest little outfits
  • She will be utterly adorable, as little girls always are
  • She will be precious and delightful, and we will make sure she knows it

Either option, from where I’m standing, is absolutely wonderful. I am so excited to meet my little boy or girl, to find out what his or her name is and see his or her personality unfold.

What are little boys made of?
Slugs and snails
And puppy-dogs’ tails,
That’s what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And everything nice,
That’s what little girls are made of.



10 thoughts on “Frequently Asked Question # 2: Are you finding out what the gender is, and do you have a preference?

  1. I “knew” that Arielle was a girl. I was still open to the fact I was wrong, and even after we found out I still had a few fears the scan may be wrong (mainly due to people telling me stories), but was still very sure deep down…so your thoughts of what gender your baby is may be right, you may know deep down if your baby’s a girl or a boy-I did :-)

    • That’s awesome! I’ve heard it said that the strongest indicator (other than scans, blood tests, etc, obviously), is the mother’s instinct. But I’ve also heard of people who were adamant it was one or the other, and were wrong. So I’m staying cautious. I hope I am right, though. It would be nice to be able to tell your child that you just knew what gender they were.

    • I’m excited that you’ll be around too! Knowing that you would be was definitely one thing that kept me from being too sad that Heidi, Katie, Molly and Fiona wouldn’t be, when they were all leaving just as I found out :)

  2. I wanted to wait to find out until the baby’s arrival, but the suspense is already killing me at 18 weeks, and unfortunately I keep calling the baby “girl”, so I definitely have my sights set on a gender. Either way, boy or girl, as long as it’s a healthy baby we are just happy to be mothers :)

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