5 weeks

16/06/2012

Four days ago, I found out that I am pregnant with our first child. This blog post won’t go up until we’ve announced it, but I still wanted to chronicle my pregnancy from the very beginning.

My period was due on the 8th, but it hadn’t arrived yet. I had a suspicion I might be pregnant, but Angus wanted to wait a week before I did a test, because he didn’t want me to be disappointed if it was negative. I basically just felt like I had my period, but I didn’t. Then, on the 9th, I got really, really bad cramps. I just felt like something was up, and I needed to talk to my doctor about my hip anyway (woohoo, dance teacher injuries), so I made an appointment.

I told him about how my period hadn’t arrived, and how I felt like I had my period but didn’t, and about the cramps on Saturday night. He suggested doing a pregnancy test, so I did one, and it was just sitting on the desk while he was filling out my prescriptions (they have ones they don’t have the yucky urine tab), and I kept glancing at it but didn’t really know what I was looking for. Then he looked at it, and said “Congratulations, that pink line means you’re pregnant” and I didn’t really know what to say. I was extremely happy but mostly just really shocked. My doctor had a chuckle and said “You really didn’t expect that?” He told me that I’d need to come back next week for another appointment, and that there were blood tests that I’d need to have done, which he suggested I do then so the results are back for next week. He also prescribed me some iodine supplements and folic acid.

By the time I got to the blood testing place, I had settled pretty deeply into being shocked. I remember thinking “I don’t really know what to do.” Not that I didn’t know what to do about the baby, I just didn’t know how I was meant to react to it. The lady who took my blood was really nice, and she seemed really excited to take blood for something nice.

I had a few errands to run after my appointment, but I ended up just driving home. I still haven’t returned my library books. I looked for Angus at his work for ages before realising he’d gone home for lunch. He was sitting in the office looking at work boots, because he was going to buy a new pair (he’s got them now). I hand the pregnancy test in my hand, in a plastic bag, and went in and sat on his knee. He asked what the doctor said, and I just handed him the pregnancy test. He said “What does that mean?” and I said “It means we’re having a baby.” He hugged me, and I started crying. He said “Are you getting emotional?” and I just nodded my head and laughed a bit. Then we started talking a bit about what boots he would buy.

We’ve talked about it quite a bit since then. We just needed time to let it sink in. We both agree that we weren’t expecting it to happen so soon. We thought we’d have to try.

Hopefully, my baby is now all settled in. He or she has seperated into two seperate cells – the baby and the placenta. He or she is still only very tiny – not much bigger then a full stop. The plate that will become the heart has developed, and the brain, spinal cord, muscles and bone formation are beginning to develop. His or her skeleton is starting to form as well.

I find myself spending almost every second worrying that I’ll miscarry. I’m still getting cramps, and apparently these are normal, but they worry me. Part of me just wants to glimpse into the future and check that Baby has arrived safe, healthy and alive in February.

What is it like being pregnant? Tiring. I don’t understand women who didn’t realise they were pregnant until 7 or 8 weeks. I wish I was one of them (it would have cut out 3 or 4 weeks of worrying as well). I am exhausted a minimum of all the time. I also feel generally yucky. Not so much nausea, but more just a general yucky feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Apparently, pretty much all my baby needs me to do at the moment is send down a whole lot of blood. My body will start to create more blood then usual, but it hasn’t caught up yet. With that in mind, my blood sugar is really low, and I am very, very cold. These are two things I did not associate with early pregnancy. You hear a lot about morning sickness and sore breasts, but not very many women mention being cold and dizzy.

Actually, there is one other thing no one had mentioned to me, so let me be the one to tell you: You might get cramps that feel like period pain. These are caused by your uterus accomodating the baby and getting all ready for it.

I am getting used to the idea that I am having a baby in February of next year. It still doesn’t feel real, which might be why I’m so worried about miscarrying.

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