To love…

My wedding was the most perfect day of my life. It was exactly what I wanted. 

I remember feelings more then I remember what actually happened. Even as it was happening, I found myself thinking “I’m never going to remember this, it’s all just a blur.”

But I do remember waking up at 6:40am and jumping out of bed and just standing there, not really sure what to do with all the excitement inside me. I remember getting back into bed and thinking “The next time I wake up, my husband will be beside me.” I remember the power going off at 7:30am, and I remember not really even caring and just opening the curtains so I could continue reading.

I remember finally getting up at 9:00am and eating cherries while everyone started to arrive. I remember that it was raining a bit and we still had no power, so we just hung out and Bret went into town to get us McDonalds for breakfast. I remember that Heidi and Bret’s house was full of wonderful women and girls putting together boquets and bringing me food and laughing and talking. I remember equally wonderful young men, particularly Stephen and Callum, braving the feminine flurry to be the go-betweens for Angus and I, trying to orgnaise what we’d do because it looked like it would rain and that wouldn’t really work for an outside ceremony. I remember Mark telling me he’d got the train ready, but that if it rained again we would be able to use it. I remember getting a letter from my groom which said “Even though it’s raining and the power is out, I’m glad today is our wedding day.” 

I remember laughing about how funny it would be for us to do our hair and make up sitting out the door using the generator. I remember Heidi asking Bret where we would plug the generator in. I remember when I got into the shower – being the bride I was the one lucky enough to be allowed to use up the small amount of hot water that would be available – and the power went back on. I remember doing the hair and make up of my beautiful junior bridesmaids and flower girl. I remember watching Bride Wars and eating hot chips.

I remember Mark coming in to say that we wouldn’t be able to use the train, but that he’d asked one of the kitchen ladies who has an awesome car to bring  it in for us to use. I remember organising with Stephen to organise with Angus to put a marquee up across from where we were having the ceremony so that if it did rain, everyone could just grab a chair and run. I remember sending some of the girls off with ribbon and flowers and asking them to make the ceremony venue look pretty – an hour before the guests would start arriving.

I remember the photographer arriving early because it was pouring with rain where she lived and being suprised that it wasn’t raining where we were. I remember realising that I should probably start getting ready. I remember holding frozen teaspoons to my eyes to get rid of the huge bags under them. I remember Mark coming in to tell us that we would be able to take the train after all.

I remember putting my dress on and feeling like someone out of a Jane Austen novel.

I remember sitting on the train as we travelled to the ceremony venue and everyone was saying “You’re getting married” and my heart was so full that I just wanted to cry.

I remember the first time I saw my groom, and he saw me. I remember his wide smile and I remember wondering if anyone else really existed in that moment. I remember feeling like that the whole way down the aisle. I remember, though vaguely, counting the girls in as they walked down the aisle, and stepping off the train and realising I hadn’t put the train of my dress down and asking my dad to do it and him having no idea what I meant, and smiling at people, and getting to the front.

I remember looking around and not being able to believe how beautiful it all looked. I remember looking, multiple times, at my bridal party and thinking how awesome their dresses looked all beautiful and mismatched and theirs. I remember saying “I do” too quietly despite the microphone and just nodding because I knew my voice wouldn’t come – it was caught somewhere behind the tears I was holding back. I remember trying to slip my groom’s ring on gracefully and then getting it stuck and making a funny face while trying to push it on the whole way. I remember our first kiss as man and wife. I remember signing the marriage license and being shocked at how many peices of paper I had to sign. I remember Angus’s Pop praying for us, and asking God to bless our unborn children and provide us with a home. I remember the kids blowing the bubbles too early.

I remember walking down the aisle and getting to the end, and everyone hugging us and taking photos. I remember going off to take the bridal party photos, and it being cold and finally starting to rain a little.  I remember just wanting to go and be alone with my husband. I remember little Daniel calling the photographer crazy. I remember Heidi skipping a little too high and flashing us all. I remember the photographer taking a photo of the guys walking together, a nice natural one, and Esther saying “Isaac should be flexing his muscles, then it would be far more realistic” and Angus saying “He should just take his shirt off.” I remember trying to do a fabulous dipping photo with my husband, and him dropping me.

I remember getting to the reception late and being extremely hungry. I remember eating hot chips. I remember not being able to get over how awesome the cake was. I remember the speeches, and little Flynn rolling across the floor for half of them. I remember little Daniel’s very cute speech. I remember trying to visit every table, and not really making it around. I remember running to catch an escaping baby. I remember the music not working properly, and so having unexpected entertainment in the form of Anneke and Katie’s rendition of “The Things You Don’t Say To Your Wife” and then Megan’s beautiful voice belting out “Me and Bobby McGee.” I remember our first dance, and our second dance, and everyone else dancing in between. I remember being exhausted, but not really wanting it to end. I remember everyone making an arch for us to run through, and then getting outside and seeing they’d decorated the car so beautifully (*cough*) for us.

One day soon I will share the professional photos, but for now, just this one:

“He has taken me to the banquet hall, and his banner over me is love.”
– Song of Solomon 2:4


2 thoughts on “To love…

  1. Courtney,
    You are the most beautiful, most gracious, most delightful bride I have ever seen! I adored being able to be part of your big day.

    It was heaps much fun!!

    p.s. if I was a blog reviewer I would give you a 10/10 because yourwriting style is simply incredible.

  2. Courtney,

    Oh I stumbled across your blog and I am so happy I did. It is so special and sweet and such a joy to read. You made me cry and my heart flutter through your beautifully written words and honest emotions.

    Love Natasha


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